Cheryl's Story
(Drawing by *Cheryl's daughter about her time in care).
Hi my name is *Cheryl and I have two daughters. My eldest is 14 years old and is profoundly deaf, since birth. My youngest is 12 years old. My girls were in care for seven years, but a lot happened and changed in those years and that is the story I want to share.
How my children ended up in care
I married at 19 years old and my first daughter was born 8 weeks premature when I was 20. She was also born profoundly deaf. Two years later I was pregnant again and my husband was becoming increasingly abusive, physically and sexually. We were always short of money and food and the house deteriorated. Now I know I was suffering depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but at the time I was just trying to get through one day at a time. I often went without food for long periods to ensure my daughter would eat.
My second daughter was born and I continued to live day by day in the chaos of my marriage and my husband's criminal activities and ongoing abuse. Eventually I fled the family home, leaving my girls as it was not safe to take them. I stayed with family and saw the girls as often as possible, but my husband would not allow me to take them with me. I reached out to Child Protection for support to ensure regular contact with my girls. Ultimately Child Protection removed the girls from my husband's care and placed them in foster care. I was not aware this had happened until I heard from authorities.
From that point forward I followed all directives from Child Protection to ensure regular contact with the girls in the hope of having them back in my care. Looking back I had no idea how long this journey would take.
What happened next
I willingly offered to do drug screens and courses. I did many, many courses and groups:
Depression and anxiety group
Personal development group
Counselling
Parenting education (Living with Kids)
Therapeutic group for parents with children in care
Parenting education (Bringing Up Great Kids)
Parenting education (Tuning into Kids)
I have learned some interesting things from groups and courses and met some great people, but it was leaving the abusive relationship and slowly discovering my own mind and my own values that has made the biggest difference.
How things are now
The last 12 months have proved to be a big turning point as I moved from being quite passive in my dealings with Child Protection to becoming more assertive. I began to prepare my own agenda for meetings and to take my own notes. When my youngest daughter's care placement broke down the system was geared to roll on and just move my daughter on to other placements. I was not prepared to allow this so I lodged a request for a full case review. The outcome of that review is that my youngest daughter is now back living with me full time.
I now have a supportive partner who is gentle and respectful, the partner I deserve. My girls like him very much.
My eldest daughter remains in care in a facility close to a specialist deaf school. Recently she was able to come and stay overnight with myself and her sister and contact has been increased. I will continue to push for more time together, including school holidays and long term reunification.
What PACT means to me
PACT has been a safe place to come and get support and share ideas. We have become an extended family and provide hope and help to one another.
*For privacy reasons real names are not used
